It's like the way the world seems to bounce off of me, an echo prevented by the slick, sickening sensation of death and hope that's far, far gone ("alliteration, can you tell me what else you've learned?" i haven't, i've learned nothing, and i've forgotten how to breathe). It's like the way that my heart beats, steady,
one
two
three
and then shatters, a world too far away for me to be here, an endless cacaphony of miserable words and fake freedom. I am Distance. I am Alone. I am Gone from here, and there's no where left for me to go.
(i don't know what this is coming to and i don't know if I'm alone. i can't remember what it's like to breathe anymore and i feel so far from home.)
I remember the way it feels to have a needle pierce my skin, the way the life drains from me (little plastic tubes and god, how i love the color red). I remember the way my stomach clenches and my muscles tighten and the split second before it starts to bleed, when flesh is parted like the proverbial red sea and slowly begins to fill again. I remember how my blood feels cold and it just proves that there's nothing warm left inside.
It just proves why everyone walks away.
Tell me you care.
Oh, god, please tell me you care.