Meh. Sometimes life floats by for me in a dream, like I'm not even existing in this body. It's like I'm drifting ... "float through the endless streams of time"... like I'm just occupying my mind while my body's on autopilot. I don't remember what I've done, I don't remember who I've talked to, and yet I'm managing to make good grades, interact with people, come home, be my normal bitchy self. No one knows the pain inside, the scars I hide, the life I've led. No one knows what I see when I close my eyes, the dreams I have when I want to die but I wake up in a cold sweat and realize that it's not over yet. It's not that I want to die. I just want the pain to go away. I want a friend to hold me and tell me it's okay. I want to be able to do that for someone that knows what I"m going through, because I usually counsel people whose biggest problems are that she sneezed on her crush and he was grossed out. No, I'm sorry, you lose, that isn't what life's about. I'm sorry, life isn't about making perfect grades, dating the most popular boy/girl (or both), befriending your teachers, being the best at everything. For me life is about survival. For me I really, really, want things to be okay. I want a friend. And I really fucking want to pass my road test on the 28th.