Chaos. Life is chaos.
It's really hard to not just hurt some people. Stupid people irritate me greatly. I'm in an art class full of freshmen; irritating, stupid freshmen. Julie's not, but everyone else is. I just want to hurt them.
And I want to hurt myself. But what else is new? After yesterday the desire sort of ebbed, I destroyed a P.A. system today, then I hauled a fridge into the apartment and took it apart. Why, do you ask? ... I'm the resident handyman. Handywoman. Handyperson. Whatever.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't an only child. I'd do almost anything to have an older brother to look up to, to help me out, to take care of me and make cheap jokes about me, to tease me and put band-aids on my hurts, to stay with me when I'm sick, to tickle me when I'm in a bad mood. I really wish I had a big brother.
But I'm alone.
Always, always alone. In any way shape and form... I'm alone.
Is anyone out there? ... please, let me know.