I climbed into the car and saw her waiting on the seat, looking up at me, meowing in her squeaky voice. I picked her up and held her on my lap, both of us playing happily on the way to the vets. At the office, we sat in the chair, and she snuggled up under my chin, crawling around my shoulders and purring, loving being near me. We brought her in the office and the vet checked her out and left for something. I played with her, she crawled behind the scale and onto the ledge of the wall, onto me, playing on my shoulders again. The doctor came back and took her for a blood test, and she clung to me like she always did, meowing, begging not to be taken away from me. The vet brought her back and she had a big bandage on her left back leg, and she was walking funny because of it, it was funny to watch. She ran around the table and climbed on me. The doctor came into the room and told us she had a one-cell parasite, and that it's treatable; the vet left again and I pet her. She came back and said she had another one-celled parasite, but the tech then called her back and said they wanted her to look at something. I knew it was bad. She said that she tested positive for feline leukemia. I put my head down and started to cry. My mother decided the most humane thing to do was to euthanise her, though the vet said that it is possible for cats with leukemia to live healthy lives for years. I wonder now if it was the right thing to do. She left us with the kitten for awhile, and I held her close and told her it would be okay, that she'd go somewhere it wouldn't hurt anymore, and she could play and have fun and run around, that she'd just go to sleep and it would be okay... she nuzzled against me and purred... and then the vet came back. I had to put her on the table. I kissed her forehead. She clung to me, mewing fiercely, desperate not to leave my body. She looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I lost it, I started bawling. The tech laid her down and I pet her as the vet gave her the shot. I pet her and told her 'goodbye... i love you' and she was gone. I closed her eyes, pet her one last time, and left the room hysterically, looking back just one more time at her limp body on the table. God, I miss her.