I wrote a letter to Aaron today that I don't think I'll mail. About how I've been enlightened since he broke my heart; about how I've had to hold myself up to the light, and how I didn't like what I found, so I changed. I've changed... I truly have; no one will believe me, but I've changed. I can control my desires, my thoughts, my fears; and I deserve a second chance.
We've had so many good times together... in the hotel room when my mom wasn't there, in his grandmother's house, on the beach, watching stupid movies, going bowling, dancing to music only we can hear.. holding each other close late at night....
How can he abandon that? How can he not want that?
I don't understand, at all. I don't understand how I could have screwed up this badly in the first place; I don't understand how I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late.
I'm sorry...
oh, god.. i'm so sorry