Oh, god, the pain...
He gave me the "we really are still just friends, right? i mean, we can still have all the sexual benefits, and care a lot about each other, but i don't think i want to advance from that until i'm good and ready'
in a way, that's good.. it's so good... we're friends, we care, we talk, he might want to advance from that, it's so much hope...
but damn, all i wanted to do today was cry.
cry, and cry, and cry.
i wanted to weep until my eyes burned with the pain of a thousand exploding stars.
i wanted to cut, and cut, and cut, not just the three tiny marks that look like kitten claws, i want to cut until my flesh is in strips and weeping blood
i want to weep blood
i
want
to
bleed