Sometimes the urge to cut is unbearable, like a poison growing in my blood that needs to burst forth in a spew of agony while I choke back screams. Except now... now, it doesn't make me scream. Or wince. Or hold my breath. It just... doesn't anymore. And I'm not really sure why.
"Can't have you, can't leave you there cause I must sometimes see you.. and I don't understand how you can keep me in chains and every waking hour, I feel you taking power from me and I can't leave, repeating the scenery over again..."
I can't leave, even though he's causing me so much pain. He's not trying to.. he just is. And I hate him and love him. I love him.. for all that he is, for who he is.. for everything. Every memory, every little sound of his voice, every touch, every kiss, every bit of love he ever gave me.
Excuse me...
I need to release the agony inside of me, and let my tainted blood vomit its poisonous venom.