It's an addiction that flows through my veins, cataclysms and catalysts that will never completely leave me. Trembling in terror, watching blades flash, wishing that I could caress my own but knowing that I've made one too many promises.
(willyouhatemeifibreakmypromise...)
I'll never understand why I began this path to self-destruction in the first place, why I decided to run my frail body into the ground with blood red tears and broken hearts. Why I've pounded shattered fists into so many walls (myknuckleisstillbroken...butwhocankissitbetter? willyou?) when I've barely known who I am. I'm so young and yet wings so fettered, bloody with feathers torn maliciously from gentle and newborn flesh. Emerging from a cocoon only to be thrust into yet another, wresting my heart into yet another wall. Held behind fragile plaster that I'll break another day, behind the pretty pink insulation (therewasatimethatithoughtpinkwasbeautiful... nowionlyenjoyred) that will insulate my heart, the walls, the walls that haven't ever been tested... until tonight.
Will the walls I've so carefully tended to, built up as if a fortress, a stockade around my mind and heart, survive or will it shatter from the endless winter?
(shameless plug: email this guy [email protected] and ask him why they changed the flavor of Snapple Elements "Sun" so I can get my snapple back.)