An endless wasteland of scorching heat, lost in a sea of time that remains so longingly within me, entombed in an ethereal cask of blood and flesh, as if the way the moonlight pales each tiny spark of humanity left in me illuminates that which I truly am, that which none will ever see. A desert of dry sand and lost hopes, lighting afire the last shred of hope that I had ever held, crystallized shards of eternity that I can never regain, can never find again. Ten thousand dreams and wishes washed over by a tumultuous sea, dark and forboding on the horizon as if one false glance could send the shore crashing down upon you, unforgiven and blemished by desperation and loss. Standing alone amidst the chaotic waves and the pleas made by thunder screaming through my ears, I remain, a solid figure in the night, the burning light of the sun dragging away false happiness and days long forgotten, flesh rotting from bone and falling to the earth to feed blossoms that will never see the light of day.
Starlight; the night, a time when that which I feel is most like me, that which I am that is so different from the form that I encompass, that I am entombed in. Binding (a promise made by flesh, wishes that cannot be broken) me to this unforgiven land, a single tendril of precious light curls about my form, a wisp of innocence that bathes me in forgiveness, washing over me like renewal, cleansing me of my sins and regressions. The night; the time in which I seem to almost become born again (would you forgive me if i was reborn? the path into the starlight is so very close at hand...) into a form which the agony and endless tears cannot follow, a cage of blood red roses and thorns that serve as my barrier from the world, a cavern shadowed by a false, raging sea that refuses to leave, refuses to leave me when I cannot cry any longer. So many tears have been shed to no avail, as a single shard of peace overcomes me. Bound so deeply to roots that I cannot refute, cannot refuse, coiled about my precious flesh (would you give it up if you could?), looping and curling around me as if in an embrace - a deadly embrace that will not let me go. Bound to the rolling sea and vast expanse of twinkling ecstasy, I feel in my very soul the screams of soiled earth and destroyed spirit, constructed and renewed as something that can never be reborn again, a lost soul and deadly heart that can never find peace. Parts of me that I never knew existed rejoice in the darkness, so close and yet so far away, the heat and freezing indifferent cold that encompass me refreshing, familiar and comforting. How long will I be able to refrain from walking such a path? Where will my broken and abused steps lead me if I can no longer feel the light of day - nay, feel the very soul of me screaming within my jailed mind? Such questions lead to more, and few answers, if any - I cannot accept what I am, and yet the core of my being exalts in release.