I had never thought it possible to desire death from mere loneliness; a feeling that I assumed I would become accustomed to, something that would grow in me until it became a trusted friend. And yet, every night when I wake up screaming, the nightmares such a harsh reality that distorts and complicates the truth (do you see what i see? why will the dark terror never leave? why must i be subjected to the final throes of life thrust so harshly into the cold palor of death; emotion and binding dreams an endless wall of chaos that will never eave here?), and I am alone I cry out in pain for there is no one to embrace me in the darkness. So very short did I have those who sought to hold me and keep me from the pain - and yet now I know not what I want from either; I know not myself. Time slipping through glass shards like soft, warm beaches that once made me so happy - all I can do is wait.