And for now, I am alone. Throwing myself into the sea, a desperate plea for forgiveness and contemplation. Unable to concentrate, relaxation brings such turbulence to the mind. I can no longer sit in silence, as even the silence breeds anxiety. Ten thousand thoughts that have no meaning as I cannot hear the words, only the emotion behind them. Never having analyzed my feelings, never spoken to myself in words, the art is lost to me, and I am alone within myself, with so many other forces colliding.
Collision penetrating the fortress within, a solid wisp of nothingness that desperatly searches to keep me here, to hold me tightly in its embrace, and yet the tighter you clutch a handful of sand, the quicker it will slip through your fingers.
How long will it be until I am overwhelmed, until the feelings that live in me take over? Until the chaos reigns my heart and the wall of ice I've so carefully guarded falls? Melting, a river of blood that flows through twilight, orange-red skies with mists that cannot be seen here.
How long until the world has shattered, and I am alone? How long until the silence that has kept me for so long breaks me? How long until the lack of contact, the confusion surrounding those I hold in my heart, the separation of myself and my beloved kindred spirits destroys what is left of my soul?
I walk alone, and yet the path I have chosen is wrought with peril only more than I can face.