New.
Change.
Exciting? Terror? Unable to contemplate the future, as each excruciating moment betrays the past. Every single smile trembles with fear of the questions that plague me (what if...?) and my mind cannot rest. Do I trust? Can I trust? Avoiding the sweet bitterness of torn skin (my love can tear my flesh for me) and the sticky ecstasy of my blood that at times, longing cannot describe. I feel ... I feel? How long has it been since I have felt? Numb.
I am numb.
It is better than pain.