Sometimes I think that people who shouldn't be are reading this. That things are being said out of anger and displeasure to hurt me. I am not perfect. I am often wrong. I do not deserve to have shit talked about me, though, and I don't talk shit about people who mean something to me. Despite what many may think, I'm not some little goth cutter who shops at hot topic. If I'm in any category, put me in the one that likes to grow plants and paint and stuff. The one who is fundamentally happy and keeps getting screwed over by people having high expectations. I am real. I have dreams and goals and fears. I have a life to live and I deserve the same respect that anyone else deserves. I am not some fucking disease or parasite that latches on to someone, despite popular belief. When needs are not explained to me, how can I fill them? When a person always acts happy on the outside, what am I to do? I often wonder when I became psychic, and why I didn't realize it. And some people may think I'm some whiney little bitch who sinks her claws into any guy available. Nope. Not that either. Just a girl trying to get by and learn how to have fun in life. I have no interest in whining to people; hell, I don't even want to talk to people lately, if all I'm to get is negativity. And for fuck's sake, I'm not some type of emotional whore. I've had two or three serious relationships in my life, and I would think that that doesn't make me some type of parasite. I dearly wish that people would ask instead of assume. I wish that those I care about would tell me if they have problems with me instead of ignoring it, ignoring me. I want to have a fair fucking chance at explaining myself, my reasonings, my logic, and apologize if necessary. I don't work so hard to try and make people happy for my health here, I do it because I would love to see everyone happy.
I like to sit in the sun and feel its warmth on me at the beach with the salt water cooling my skin. I like curling up on the sand with a good book and letting my mind drift until I put it down and lay in dreamy warmth. I like listening to the ocean and the way the sky looks on the horizon.
Maybe if people actually spent the time to work things out, they wouldn't hate me so.
I hope none of my readers do.