It's like when you're young, swimming in a pool, feeling daring. Dropping down to the bottom and sitting there as long as you can, gazing up at the sky, seeing it so far away from where you are. And the world is so fuzzy and you start to become dizzy, and frantic, but you fight it and try to stay on the bottom, just to see if you can. But you panic, and your body starts reacting - and you fight it, because you know that you're not really in danger - but it's the reaction you have anyway. And then, you can't take it anymore, and you rush up to the surface as fast as you can. Everything before your head breaks the surface - that's the way it feels before I cut. And the place where you take that first breath - it hurts like hell and it feels so sweet because it reminds you that you're alive, and you're thankful for that and the agony goes away. That breath is like when I cut.