n.
1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
2. Something committed into the care of another; charge.
What I am takes an enormous amount of trust. I realize, at times, how few people I trust - and the depth that I trust those few to. L knows that I would trust my life, my essence, my soul in his hands without second thought. N may know that I trust my sanity in his hands. A long time ago he took it upon himself to watch out for me, and I'm not sure he realizes that he still does it. That he's like a cheerleader to me sometimes - telling me to keep going when I want to give up, giving me support, encouragement, love. D? D I trust with... me. I have to. I am what I am, but he is what he is, as well, and he is a Dom. I trust him to make decisions that will be in my best interest. I trust that he knows what's best for me. I put myself in his care because of this trust - the trust that he won't let me fall. Other friends, one of which I've just seen after not seeing him in so long... I trust with my secrets. With the things inside that I don't want people to know.
And I have to trust in The Powers That Be. L and N have those damned rulemakers. And they're ruining my life. They're making things so much harder than they need to be and every breath taken under those rules is agony. I can't be myself there; I can't be who I am, I can't be free and I can't help to the capacity that I normally could because those rulemakers are afraid that I'll do something untoward. I wish I could talk to them, prove my worth, prove that I'm not a threat. But all I can do is trust that things will work out in the end.